The time of year has come back around for us to once again lie to ourselves about things we will do next year, or who we will be one year from now. New year’s resolutions. A thing I have lightly spoken out against before and I am about to speak out against again now.
I am not against improvement. If anyone reads this channel regularly, you will know that I am entirely pro self-motivation, actualization and getting things done to make you a better you. If everyone spent half the time we spend on streaming YouTube shorts and TikTok we would all be a few percent better each month, I’m sure.
So, if I believe in resolutions to be better why am I so against new years resolutions, and why am I telling you to skip them?
“Because you are okay the way you are.”
No. That is a lie. No, you’re not. I am not. Your five-year-old isn’t. Your ten-year-old isn’t. Your fifteen-year-old isn’t. All the way up to whatever age you are. What would that even mean? You are okay the way you are? As a five-year-old? You are a dysfunctional ill prepared individual who has no idea how the world works, can barely read, can’t formulate a cogent defense of anything and lies as a matter of course because you are still trying to learn how the world works.
What about at 18-20. Really? Do you want to be the way you were at 18 for the rest of your life? I hope not. Get better. At 40? Are you really okay the way you are? What am I supposed to do for what I hope is the next forty years if that’s true? Just hang out? Where is the adventure in that?
That is the beauty of self-motivation and getting better. That is the beauty of saying the things that are wrong in your life are from you, not the world around you. Even if they are from the world around you, you can do something about it. You have agency. Otherwise, what else would we be but helpless?
All that said, why am I against new year’s resolutions?
Because they fail. Only 9% of Americans that make resolutions complete them. In fact, research goes on to show that 23% of people quit their resolution by the end of the first week, and 43% quit by the end of January. I’m proposing you don’t start in January.
Gyms will be packed with people who won’t be there in a month. Stores will be packed with people who are returning things they didn’t want, and buying things to improve themselves in some way they think is the most important. Friends and family will be talking about their progress, then they will talk about their difficulties and statistically, eventually their failures. Every ad on earth will be pushing you to join into something, to better yourself at $9.99 a month.
Wait it out. Make a plan. Make a plan. When everyone else is starting to falter, get started. When you start to falter, think back to the other portions of this site, and find a way to build your habits. Find ways to change your behavior patterns. Tell only your closest friends and loved ones what you are going to do. Don’t make a display of it. Keep your victories close, the ones nobody can take away from you.
Your victories are your own. Maybe it is every word you write down for your next novel. Maybe it is every individual meal that you ate only what you needed to eat. Maybe it is every time you were a little nicer to people when it was hard, or worked that little extra to make your partner happy. Maybe you found that small chunk of time to help your children achieve their dream. Whatever it is the knowledge of those victories can’t be diminished.
You can be a better you. Don’t resolve, come February, to become XYZ, or ABC percent better, just resolve to become better. Because better is better. It doesn’t matter how much better if there is forward movement.
See you in 2024. The year you can be the best you yet.
Starting in February. 😉
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