If you have never heard of the serenity prayer, I have a copy here: "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference." I am here to talk about my version of coming to understand it this week. Or perhaps, if not understand it, at least... wonder how much the lesson applies to my recent problems. Wisdom is hard. As the great thinkers of the world have pointed out, you don't get

Everything has a price tag. If you want to be patient, you will never learn it by being given everything you want exactly when you want it. The price tag is frustration and delay. If you want to deadlift 600 pounds, you will never do it by sitting on the couch. The price tag is deadlifting multiple times a week, and being very uncomfortable. If you want to learn to read, you will never do it if you only listen to audiobooks and can't recognize words. The price tag is sp

When people tell you to age well, they usually mean to exercise or stay fit, or be mobile and mentally spry. I have no intention of talking about any of that. This is likely the last piece specifically about my father and his passing, or my family in general, but I wanted to talk about aging well. I talked briefly about the idea of shrinking, when a kitty I loved very much passed away. I was able to watch as her world rapidly went from being my house, to one floor, to one roo

Proud What does it mean to be proud of someone? Proud: (Miriam Webster) Marked by stateliness, displayed self-esteem, vigorous and spirited... Well. None of those quite work. Proud: (Cambridge Dictionary) feeling pleasure and satisfaction because you or people connected with you have done or gotten something good That’s better. It’s still off. I am proud of my father. In this small series where I will talk about him, I want to give advice, or give... lessons I learned from

I do not believe that the internet is a place to air your innermost thoughts as a kind of personal cathartic laundry for the world to see and smell. I think people who do videos sitting alone in their car who want to tell the world how they feel about something have it all wrong. That is telling the world something hoping they will echo it back to you and validate your belief. Recently I heard it said in a lecture that you should ask yourself why you say anything that you say

For two and change weeks, I didn’t write anything, and I didn’t edit anything. I wasn’t on vacation, I wasn’t too busy. I just stopped, because I was too shocked and too depressed to keep doing it. I want to talk about what happened and a very important realization I came to about why, and how I moved past it. (Somewhat) How hopelessness feels... I have submitted hundreds of short stories to magazines and done hundreds of submissions to agents for books. I have pitched in per

People say they want to be successful, but they behave like the person next to them. They try to make sure they are watching some of the same shows and make sure they are aware of the same memes, and the same viral clips. Let me be very clear: Success and commonplace do not walk hand in hand. Success and average have no common path to tread. Success and what everyone else does are not neighbors. Because the average person is not successful. I am American, so let’s talk about

It is legion the number of things you will not be. The greatest football player in the world is not a concert hall pianist. The greatest physicist in the world is not a painter with their pieces hanging in the Louvre. The greatest violinist is not also working as a director of chemical engineering in a pharmaceutical company. That is not to say they cannot be these things; perhaps they could have been. That is what makes us amazing as human beings. You can be a star athle

My wife and I were recently in Boulder, Colorado. If there were a poster child for trying to do the right thing by way of the environment, this might be the place. Let’s ignore all politics for a moment and whether you agree or disagree about that, and talk about the act of “being good.” We helped clean out a garage that hadn’t been cleaned out in decades. We had to dispose of scrap metal, scrap wood, Styrofoam, old paint, long-expired rat poisons and plant sprays, road fla

“Hey Bob, how’s it going?” “Tim, how goes? It’s okay, just back from Memphis.” “Good ribs, right?” “You know it.” “Watching the game tonight?” “If my boss lets us leave when he’s supposed to, yeah...” Make your conversation fit the person and the place. Blah blah blah . Do I need to be here for this? Not really, and you don’t either. And neither were Bob and Tim. That conversation could be had on autopilot, and probably was. You know its content from the beginning, and you k

But thinking makes it so. The Buddha (via Dhammapada, Buddhism): “Mind precedes thoughts, mind is their chief, their quality is made by mind; if with a base mind one speaks or acts … then suffering follows … If with a pure mind one speaks or acts … then happiness follows.” AKA, our experience of good or bad arises from the mind. AKA, “thinking makes it so.” Qur'an / Muhammad (Islam): The hadith: “Strange indeed are the affairs of the believers: for all their affairs are good.

You are going to have a last flower. You are going to walk into your garden one day, and that day will be the last day something new blooms before winter overtakes you (at least where I live!). It will be stark, beautiful, and a reminder of the things that have bloomed before. My Last Flower Then you will walk through your garden and see the flowers that didn’t finish. They almost bloomed, but in the lateness of the season they were halted and they will be only that: buds t

I cannot recall what I was listening to, or if it was reading that discussed the asteroid conundrum. Here is the question at hand: You are an artist of some kind, a painter, sculptor, writer, musician, and you have been working for years of your life to become gifted at what you do. You learn that the world is going to end in 30 days, and all human life and everything we have ever created is going to be destroyed. Humanity will never rise again, and all works of humanity will

Winding down doesn’t mean done. I am always a little sad at the end of every gardening year because I have to wait from about November 15th to about April 15th before I see signs of life in the garden again. Everything goes to sleep, folds up on itself, and waits. I won’t lie. I am envious of those who live in warmer climate zones sometimes and grow an extra two months or more. Fall in the damp garden I have tasks to do in the yard, like moving stones about, mulching, cutting

I’m going to give away a spoiler: in the most amazing story I have ever seen, heard, or read, the hero dies in the end. They may fight...

The Old Ball and Chain... My wife won’t let me get fat. Within limits. I am very grateful she won’t. I won’t let her be sedentary, though...

On Thursday, I am picking up a cake for a dead man. I do not write much in the way of true details about my personal life on this site....

Trust me, stay for the result of this... In the last thirty minutes the following things have happened and the following thoughts have...

So many people seem to be ashamed of themselves. There are things to be ashamed of, but people are ashamed of the wrong things. I’m not...

It makes me angry when otherwise amazing people find excuses to fail. Plenty has been written about what I am about to say, and none of...