Who's to Blame?

Life is going to go wrong. Today, tomorrow or someday, someone is going to tell you that something didn’t go the way you wanted.

You didn’t get the job, you didn’t have a good yearly checkup, you didn’t earn the promotion, your child didn’t make honor role, your team lost… You will have a suboptimal moment.

Who do you blame?

You can choose to point your finger at the people around you or a bad roll of the dice. When you do, you will vent and possibly feel better, but statistically you will feel worse. You can develop a habit of saying that it is everyone else at fault, and the world is out to get you, nature didn’t gift you with some specific skill or body type, and your boss just hates you.

Or… own your life.

A secret I tell people who are self-conscious is to always remember, most people don’t care about what you look like, or what you did or what your goals are. They care about theirs. Do you remember exactly what the last person worse when you thought “You look goofy?” Do you remember what you were thinking the last time you gave a promotion to someone over another person? Do you remember the last group of job applicants you rejected?

Me neither.

People are generally busy with their own lives. They aren’t trying to be in your way, they aren’t out to get you and they don’t have it in for you.

Own your life. Do better. Everyone can do a little better.

Learn a new skill to add to your resume. Spend some time with your children to help them do better on their team, or the classes they struggle with. Go for a walk each day, just five to ten minutes to help move the cholesterol and scale needles along the right way.

Your life is yours. You can own it, and realize the world isn’t out to get you, or, you can be angry, get angrier, push more people away, and in the end… nothing will change for all that anger. Everyone is quick to say “Don’t blame yourself,” or “I’m sure you did your best.” Wrong. You should blame you, and you almost certainly didn’t do your absolute best.

Besides, is that the world you want to live in? Your best is not good enough? You are fine the way you are, at 20, 30, 40, 50 or whatever age with decades to go without hope for improvement. What nonsense is that?

Do better. Earn the life you want.